With paint, outside in my garden,

I can do anything I want,

i can be anything I want,

No one is watching me to see that I do it right,

Or judging me, to see if I do it well,

Or if I am careful enough,

or precise enough,

or smart enough,

or anything enough,

I can just be.

And in being, I can be my fullest.

I can do everything.

I can be everything.

I can be careful enough,

I can be smart enough,

I can be precise enough,

I can be enough,

I can be me.

The backyard wildflowers are beautiful in
April May particularly. The blues of Nigella and pinks of Wild Rose?  Dandelions and Buttercups I think?  Creeping through every crack they are there as
beautiful garments I could wear or as angels to speak or as pieces of art to create
with or as a whisper of the natural beauty already existing.

I can’t forget making wedding bouquets with a
friend and my mother for my children’s 4th grade teacher- who was
getting married- and was able to see the beauty in these small backyard wildflowers.
I wish could make them into wedding bouquets every year.

The backyard wildflowers are spectacular today, but they will be gone with a puff
of wind tomorrow. There are stored and hung canvases everywhere. Canvases stored inside collect dusk and outside the paint peels away. If
not for these, the wildfires will come. I want a lighter world. One that fits in a backpack; I am reminded of the upcoming wildfire season, and the past wildfire season, and the current wildfire season. I am reminded of the chaos in the world. I want only a backpack or a shared memory.

I wish I could put it all in my backpack  and  take it  with me.